5 Questions to Ask Yourself
Before Moving Abroad
A Self-Assessment for the Serious Blaxiter
Begin the Assessment ↓A Note Before You Begin
You probably read another headline this morning.
Something that wasn't supposed to happen. A new policy that experts said was unlawful. Something that confirmed, again, what you've already been knowing for a long time now… That the collapse of the United States is real, it is accelerating, and no amount of showing up perfectly has made you exempt from it.
What you're probably feeling right now is a bone-deep, soul-level exhaustion that has been building longer than you'd probably like to admit. Researchers have a name for it. It's called weathering. Dr. Arline Geronimus, a public health researcher, developed the theory that describes how the chronic, cumulative experience of racism literally wears the body down from the inside — accelerating aging, straining the heart, and shortening the very cells that keep us alive. It's a proven fact that racism attacks the body as persistently and mercilessly as it attacks the spirit.
And you have been living inside that reality for a great deal of your life.
Still, you did what you were told. You worked twice as hard. You followed the rules. You invested in yourself, your education, your career, and your family. You followed the script down to the letter. And somewhere along the way, the American Dream stopped feeling like a promise and started feeling like a punishment. You did everything right and still found yourself further from the life you earned. The grief in that is real. So is the suspicion that maybe this dream was never meant for Black people to actually achieve it.
Here's the question I want you to really sit with: for Black folks, is the American Dream to leave?
Maybe. But then again, a dream without a plan is just another thing that can go wrong. There are a lot of people right now selling an expat lifestyle. Glossy reels of cobblestone streets and oceanfront terraces, a coaching program, and a payment plan. What they often leave out are the nuances of this experience — the moments that will stretch you in ways you didn't sign up for. The ways this experience will shift your thinking, soften the places in you that were once rigid, and open you up to connections and perspectives you never saw coming. Living abroad will change you. That is part of the gift. But it requires a level of honesty and preparation that the influencer crowd rarely talks about.
If you've been wondering whether there are places in this world where you can simply exist as a Black person without bracing for impact — there are. The chatter you've been hearing is true. I've been living this life for five years and I can tell you firsthand: Black people are building extraordinary lives abroad. The joy is real. The ease is real. The freedom and the peace are real. My only regret is that I didn't find a way to do it sooner.
That world is waiting for you, too. This self-assessment is about making sure you arrive ready to receive it. Because wanting it is one thing. Being ready for it is another. This assessment helps you figure out which one you are.
Take your time. Tell the truth. That's all this asks of you.
Mindset & Motivation
Why you want to go matters just as much as whether you go.
Am I moving toward the life I want, or away from the life I have — and do I know the difference?
I have a clear sense of why I want to leave the United States — and my reasons go deeper than frustration with current events.
I can articulate what I am moving toward, not just what I am leaving behind.
I have sat with the possibility that a change of environment alone will not resolve everything I am carrying — and I am doing the inner work alongside the practical planning.
I have a vision of what a regular, ordinary day abroad looks like for me — not just the highlights, but the full texture of daily life.
I am making this decision from a place of intention and clarity rather than urgency and exhaustion alone.
Destination Clarity
The right destination is the one that fits your life, not just your feed.
Am I choosing a destination based on what I actually need, or based on what I have seen?
I have identified at least one destination that aligns with my specific needs — including safety, community, cost of living, and quality of life — rather than one I chose primarily based on content I have consumed.
I have researched the visa and residency pathway for my target destination and I understand what it requires, how long it takes, and whether I currently qualify.
I have looked beyond the highlights and researched the lived experience of Black people specifically in my target destination — including the challenges, the cultural nuances, and the realities of integration.
I have given serious thought to the cultural differences of my target destination — including social norms, customs, and ways of life that may be significantly different from what I am used to — and I am genuinely open to adapting.
I have considered the language of my target destination and I have a realistic plan for how I will communicate, navigate daily life, and eventually build meaningful connections there.
Financial Readiness
Your money story follows you across every border. Make sure it's a good one.
Have I stress-tested what my money needs to do in the specific place I am considering, across the full cost of the life I actually want to live?
I have a realistic picture of what my monthly expenses will look like in my target destination — beyond rent and groceries and into the full cost of the life I want to build there.
I have a financial runway that would sustain me through an unexpected disruption — a job loss, a medical emergency, or an unplanned trip home.
I have researched how my income — whether employed, self-employed, or remote — translates to the economic reality of my target destination.
I understand the tax implications of living abroad as an American citizen and have a plan for managing them.
I have a clear sense of how I will earn, save, and build wealth from abroad — and that plan does not depend on everything going perfectly.
Relationships & Alignment
The people in your life are part of this decision whether you include them or not.
Who needs to be part of this decision, and have I actually talked to them?
I have had an honest conversation with my partner, spouse, or the most significant person in my life about this move — not just mentioned it, but genuinely discussed it.
I have thought through the practical implications of this move for the people closest to me — including children, aging parents, or other family members who depend on me — and I have a plan for navigating those realities.
I have had an honest conversation with my employer or have a clear sense of how my income will be maintained while living abroad.
I have prepared myself emotionally for the distance this move will create between me and the people I love — and I have thought through how I will maintain those relationships across time zones and borders.
I have thought through what it means to need help — medical, emotional, or practical — while living abroad and I have a sense of who my people will be when that moment comes.
Expectations & Reality
The women thriving abroad went in clear-eyed. The ones who struggled went in starry-eyed.
Have I interrogated my vision of what this life actually looks like, or am I still living inside the highlight reel?
I have sought out honest accounts of expat/immigrant life that include the challenges, the hard seasons, and the moments of doubt — not just the beautiful ones.
I have thought seriously about how I will handle loneliness, cultural dissonance, and the particular grief that comes with building a new life far from everything familiar.
I understand that living abroad will change me — my perspective, my values, my sense of home and identity — and I am genuinely open to that transformation.
I have given honest thought to what I will miss most about life in the United States and I have a realistic sense of how I will navigate that loss.
I am approaching this move with a spirit of curiosity and adaptability rather than a fixed idea of exactly how everything will unfold.
Add Up Your Score
Before you read your results, take a breath. Whatever number you landed on is information, and information is power. Read your results with kindness toward yourself and curiosity about what comes next.
Sis, you are in the beginning of this and that is okay. The desire is clearly there — you wouldn't have picked up this assessment if it wasn't. But some important pieces of the foundation still need to be laid before this dream can hold any real weight. And I say that as someone who has been exactly where you are.
Go back to the areas where you scored lowest. Those are your homework. Read more. Research more. Have the conversations you have been putting off with your partner, your family, your employer. Spend time with real stories from women who have made this move — the honest ones, not just the highlight reels.
Every woman who is out here living this life started right here. In this phase. Doing exactly this work.
The Blaxit Soundtrack and Soul Work Journal gives you 6 curated playlists and the kind of questions that force you to contend with the soul work this move is really asking of you. It was made for the woman who knows she needs to go deeper before she can move forward.
Get the Journal →You have been doing the work. Maybe not out loud, maybe not in any formal way, but you have been thinking, researching, and asking yourself the hard questions. Your score reflects that.
What I want you to hear is this: you already know which areas need more attention. Your scores just confirmed what you probably already suspected. So stop sitting with the information and start moving on it. Have the conversation with your partner. Get serious about your financial runway. Narrow down your destination shortlist to one or two real contenders.
Pick the area where you scored lowest and do one concrete thing about it this week. One thing. That is how this goes from a thinking exercise to an actual, executable plan.
Before you decide where to go, find out where your people already are. The Black Expat Community Global Directory gives you direct access to established Black communities across 28 countries and more than 70 digital communities. That kind of intel is worth its weight in passport stamps.
Get Instant Access →This score tells me you have put real thought into this. The inner work is happening. The practical questions are being asked. You are approaching this the way the women who actually thrive abroad approach it — with intention, with honesty, and with a willingness to sit with the parts that are uncomfortable.
The gaps you have left are specific and they are solvable. Maybe it is a visa question that still needs a clear answer. Maybe it is a conversation that keeps getting postponed. Maybe your financial plan needs one more layer of detail. Whatever it is, you are close enough to name it now.
Here is what I know from five years of living this life and hundreds of conversations with women in your exact position: the thing that moves women from this score range to actually booking the flight is usually one good conversation with someone who has already done it.
Let's get on a call. A relocation consultation is designed for exactly where you are — you have a destination in mind, real questions on the table, and you are ready to turn this plan into something concrete.
Book Your Consultation →Can I just say — I am proud of you. Not because you scored high on a self-assessment. But because getting here means you did the real work. You looked at this decision honestly. You sat with the uncomfortable questions about your money, your relationships, your motivations, and your expectations. You didn't skip the hard parts.
That kind of preparation is exactly what separates the women who make this move and thrive from the ones who make it and struggle. You have built a foundation. And everything you have put into this process is about to pay off in ways you can't fully imagine yet.
I remember the moment I realized I was ready. It felt less like a lightning bolt and more like a deep exhale. Like something I had been holding finally let go. If that sounds familiar, trust it. The world you have been preparing for is waiting. And that, friend, is what readiness actually looks like.
Spend some time with the Black Expat Stories podcast — hours of honest, unfiltered conversations with women who have done exactly what you are about to do. Let their stories meet you right where you are. Then make your next move a real one.
Watch the Podcast →America's Next Great Migration is already underway. And the women leading it are women exactly like you — thoughtful, intentional, and unwilling to settle for a life that was never fully designed to serve them.
Whatever your score, you belong in this movement. Keep going.